30 Adult Holiday Puns to Share with Your Random Assortment of Extended Family Members

30 Adult Holiday Puns to Share with Your Random Assortment of Extended Family Members

Holiday puns just sleigh me.

Enjoy these puns perfect for the holidaze! After smoking a joint, yule find yourself laughing out loud at these mistle-totally hilarious holiday puns.

Florin Wellness Center - FWC - Florin Wellness Center Blogs - holiday puns

What does Santa say to someone asking if one of his workshops is available for rent?

For lease, Navidad!

What kind of music do elves listen to while they work?

Gangsta Wrap.

What do literary geniuses call Santa’s helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.

What’s the most attractive thing about your Christmas Tinder date?

Big Deck (the halls) Energy.

What does Rudolph turn into after a bong rip?

Rudolph the red-eyed reindeer.

Florin Wellness Center - FWC - Florin Wellness Center Blogs - holiday puns

What does the un-decorated Christmas tree say to the Christmas tree full of ornaments?

You got a lot of balls coming in here dressed like that.

What do you call someone obsessed with Christmas?

Santa-mental.

What does Destiny’s Child sing during the holidays?

Sleigh my name, sleigh my name…

How much do I love Hanukkah?

A latke.

What does Santa say when he’s in the mood to get it on?

When I think about you, I touch my elf.

What does someone have if they don’t want to go to a crowded Christmas party?

Clause-trophobia

Florin Wellness Center - FWC - Florin Wellness Center Blogs - holiday puns

What’s the best way to wish someone a happy Hanukkah?

Wish them a happy challah-days.

What’s the next best way to wish someone a happy Hanukkah?

Tell them that you hope their holiday isn’t dreidull.

What do say when someone finds out they’re not the real father on Christmas?

Maury Christmas!

What does Santa drink while he’s in the sleigh?

Rein-beers.

What do you say when you gift someone an assortment of spices as a present?

Seasons greetings.

What is Snoop Dogg’s favorite part about the holiday season?

The rapping paper.

What did Dancer say to Prancer at the strip club?

Make it rain, dear.

Florin Wellness Center - FWC - Florin Wellness Center Blogs - holiday puns

What’s Chipotle’s favorite holiday song?

Guacin’ in a winter wonderland

What does a reindeer say to the reindeer who celebrates Hanukkah?

Happy Fawnukkah!

What does my man have in common with my stockings?

They’re both hung.

What did one stoner gingerbread cookie say to the other stoner gingerbread cookie?

Let’s get baked.

What did one stoner menorah say to the other stoner menorah?

Let’s get lit.

How do you politely hint to your family that you want weed for Christmas?

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree…

Florin Wellness Center - FWC - Florin Wellness Center Blogs - holiday puns

What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

What’s Ariana Grande’s next Christmas single?

Santa is a Woman.

What’s the best way to spread Christmas queer?

Singing yaaasss for all to hear!

What did a jedi master say to a kid on Christmas?

I know what you’re getting for Christmas, because I can feel your presents.

What did the stoned mermaid say when she got the munchies?

Sea Be Dee – licious!

What’s the most messed up Christmas movie?

Human Santapede.

Happy holidaze, and a blazing new year!

By |2018-12-27T12:00:11-07:00December 19th, 2018|Cannabis, Funny|0 Comments

About the Author:

Committed to strengthening our local cannabis community, Laura is passionate about excellence, the importance of family, and the benefits of cannabis.

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